I Meant Forever

"What part of forever/ Don't you understand?"
--Cee Lo Green

I Meant Forever

When I say "I love you"
What I mean is "forever."

Two pillows, side by side:
His and Hers.
I was always leaving my confines,
Crossing the fence,
Invading your territory,
Trying to get closer.
I wanted to climb inside of you
And curl up with my head on your heart,
And sleep enveloped in the pulsing, pumping organs of your chest,
Feeling your lungs squeeze me like a hug with your breath.

Now one pillow is lonely
Like a bed in a museum.
Unused artifact displaying history of nightly invasion/ occupancy.
Now that I am behaved on my side,
Saving your place, will you come back
And hold my hand across the border
As I sleep peaceably beside you?

When I say "forever"
I mean until the end of my life,
Though selfishness and cruelty replace
The 'love' that left,
And you took breaths so big your lungs suffocated me as I slept in your chest.
Long after your arms held me in the dark and I tried to climb onto your heart,
Long after I have given your pillow away
And crossed the border to stay in his veins,
Long after I have reclaimed the pieces of myself that I lost when you left me,

I will love you.